Noreen Syed (Fullerton, CA)

Life took me from a high to a low, which caught me off guard. Last year, I hit rock bottom. I survived my first suicide attempt and I wouldn’t think I would be here today. Sleeping all day, not eating, isolating myself, suicidal thoughts, losing motivation, being consumed in darkness, hating myself every day, feeling angry and depressed, and always tired. Everything was just too overwhelming. I had no control of my life, and I hated it. I had to do something because I did not want to suffer anymore. For so long I thought taking my life was the answer, but it was not because I had a community of people that cared for and loved me. 

I had to put myself first, which I did. It was a year of struggle and accomplishments, but I knew it was another battle I could fight. Connecting with family, restarting therapy, meditating, deep breathing, yoga, walking with my mom, reading, exercising, having a balanced diet, rest, alone time, pushing myself, and not being afraid to tell my story helped me get to where I am today. 

One lesson I learned when I was hurting was that you are not alone. Lean into the people who you can cry and laugh with. You are not weak when you say you are not okay. It is ok to ask for more support than usual. Set your boundaries, take care of yourself, and put on music that makes you a tiny bit happier. The work that you do does heal you, take each day as it comes; what you are feeling is temporary, and remember your little accomplishments because if you are trying and moving forward then you will be okay.

To anyone suffering in silence, you do not need to. There are people who do care for you and will listen to you. Your mental illness does not define you. Please keep living and we are in this together.