Did you know that 13.1% of men and 12.4% of women experienced verbal abuse regularly at work?
Verbal abuse can range from name-calling, bullying, frightening or intimidating use of language or control over another person. This can include screaming, yelling, or swearing. These abusive behaviors are attempts to gain control and power and to have someone submit to them. This type of behavior is not acceptable, very damaging to someone’s mental health and should not be tolerated or excused in any circumstance. It is also important to remember that these types of behaviors can develop anywhere; school, work, at home, etc.
There are more subtle cases of verbal abuse which may make it hard to distinguish if this behavior is truly abusive. Some signs that someone is experiencing verbal and abuse include;
- you feel threatened
- you are afraid of your abuser
- you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around the other person
- you constantly put down
- you feel inferior or ashamed about who you are
- you feel like you cannot share or be honest with the other person because you fear they will retaliate against you
- your abuser hides this Behavior when around other people
The cause of verbal mistreatment can range from a variety of reasons considering family history, personality and possible mental illness can all play a role in the abusers’ actions.
Types of Verbal Abuse
Blaming: making the victims believe they’re responsible for the abusive behaviors they receive.
Condescension: sarcastic comments that are intended to belittle and hurt the other person.
Criticism: harsh and persistent remarks that are meant to make the person feel bad about themselves. Also can identify as being mean with the lack of being constructive.
Gaslighting: this is a type of covert emotional abuse in which the abuser makes the person being abused question their reality.
Humiliation: being insulted in public by someone
Judging: looking down on the victim and not accepting them for who they are
Manipulation: using words to manipulate the victim
Name calling: derogatory language or insults that hurt one’s self-esteem and self-worth
Ridicule: abuser selecting jokes to attack a vulnerable area you possess
Threats: frightening statements that are meant to control and manipulate the victim into compliance of the abuser
Withholding: keeping affection or tension away from you. This can involve talking or looking at you
What Are the Effects of Verbal Abuse on Mental Health?
Mishandled issues can impact one’s mental health greatly in the form of bullying. Verbal misuse can show long and short-term consequences on mental health involving;
- anxiety
- depression
- chronic stress/PTSD
- changes in mood
- feelings of shame and guilt
- isolation
- substance abuse
Verbal Abuse in Relationships
When in a verbally abusive relationship, it is important to trust your instincts and to keep in mind that there’s a chance that things could escalate. The first step in leaving a verbally abusive relationship or to exit a situation in which you are verbally taken advantage of is to recognize your situation. After you realize what is happening, it is now up to you to figure out what you’re going to do about it.
There is Still Hope
If you can reason with your offender or you can set boundaries with them in order to limit the amount of harm you are encountering, this could make the abuser aware of their wrong behaviors. In addition, limiting your exposure to the person causing you harm will help you understand the difference in power. This is also a great time for you to evaluate your situation and if you wish to continue to change the other person or to leave. Ending the relationship will be the most beneficial to your mental health but it comes with risks of its own. If the abuser is your boss you will face greater challenges involving your job status. As an employee you have rights within the workplace and you should not face, “offensive jokes, slurs, epithets or name calling, physical assaults or threats, intimidation, ridicule or mockery, insults or put-downs, offensive objects or pictures, and interference with work performance” (US EEOC, 2023). It is also important to know that “[h]arassment becomes unlawful [when] 1) enduring the offensive conduct becomes a condition of continued employment, or 2) the conduct is severe or pervasive enough to create a work environment that a reasonable person would consider intimidating, hostile, or abusive” (US EEOC, 2023).
These characteristics might be similar to what you or someone you know is going through. Having a difficult work environment can come with elevated stress levels and lead to depression and anxiety. This is why mental health needs to be the focus of such unfair treatment. Finding ways to separate yourself from the person who is causing harm is highly recommended. Furthermore, finding a safe place where you can talk to a someone about what you are going through will help you feel like you are not alone.
Mistreatment and harmful words might look different for you than it does for others. Cultural differences can exist in how language is being perceived and interpreted within certain beliefs. Interpretations of trauma can translate into distress and ways of coping in the future. Moreover, families and children’s global beliefs about vulnerability and control contribute to how the trauma affects them. Different cultures have varying degrees of trust when it comes to health care workers with their personal experiences involving trauma. In such cases providers should understand how their perspective is being perceived and to connect to the resources that the family already instills trust in. This may be in the form of traditional healers to promote safety and commonality in the recovery process. Finding ways to connect to your specific needs when looking for mental health support will make all the difference.
Lastly, it is important to note that when you are able to leave the violator, to not isolate yourself while healing. Take time to talk to friends, family, counselors and find a therapist to help aid in your recovery.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: (800-799-7233)
References
Bottaro, Angelica. “6 Signs of Verbal Abuse You Need to Know.” 6 Examples of Verbal Abuse, Verywell Health, 6 Jan. 2022, https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-verbal-abuse-examples-signs-and-more-5210954#:~:text=A%20report%20by%20the%20RAND,how%20to%20spot%20the%20signs.
“Culturally-Sensitive Trauma-Informed Care: Patient Centered Care and Trauma Informed Care for Pediatric Patients – Healthcare Toolbox.” Culturally-Sensitive Trauma-Informed Care | Patient Centered Care and Trauma Informed Care for Pediatric Patients – HEALTHCARE TOOLBOX, www.healthcaretoolbox.org/culturally-sensitive-trauma-informed-care#:~:text=Cultural%20differences%20can%20exist%20in,about%20control%20over%20the%20event. Accessed 10 May 2023.
Gordon, Sherri. “What Are the Signs of Verbal Abuse?” Verywell Mind, Dotdash Media, Inc, 2023, https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-recognize-verbal-abuse-bullying-4154087#toc-frequently-asked-questions-8aa9b4b0-746a-4844-9140-9ae6ad870037.
“Harassment.” US EEOC, www.eeoc.gov/harassment. Accessed 10 May 2023.
Pietrangelo, Ann. “What Is Verbal Abuse? 22 Examples, Patterns to Watch for, What To.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 29 Mar. 2019, https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/what-is-verbal-abuse#outlook.
