Mia Eng (Fullerton, CA)

Twig. Bony. Anorexic. Flat. All of which have been said to my face by so-called friends and peers without any remorse. Maybe I’ll blow away if the wind is too strong. Or maybe I would look better “if there was some meat” on my bones. Perhaps I should eat more is what I have always thought to myself. 

Body image was a huge insecurity of mine from middle school through high school, and sometimes still affects me today. I didn’t have anyone to defend me, and everyone thought it was okay to jump on the train of nitpicking my body, not considering if their words would hit a soft spot. Body positivity doesn’t seem to be discussed much online for me because there is no belief in skinny shaming.

Since I couldn’t find anyone to relate or a shoulder to lean on, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I began to layer clothes, primarily to keep most of my body hidden, but also to create more sophisticated outfits. I quickly realized my talent for blending aesthetics as I carefully curated my outfits each morning, which pushed me to study fashion history and trends on several platforms, such as YouTube, MOOC classes, and magazines. With the new information I learned from these platforms, I expanded my personal fashion sense by incorporating influences from the 1970s and 1990s, while adding my own flair through my signature layering techniques, way of accessorizing, and composition of cuts and fittings. As I began to experiment with different colors, patterns, and styles, I viewed fashion less as an escape from my insecurities and more as a medium to express myself. Today, I use fashion to portray my positive characteristics rather than to hide my appearance, and it has enabled me to feel more accomplished, confident, and self-accepting. By wearing clothes that complimented the parts of my appearance that I love and reflected my moods with certain colors or styles, I built my self-esteem and emotional intelligence.