“My husband had a massive anxiety attack in the middle of the night. He woke up and started talking to me, he was laughing about something then he started talking and said he couldn’t breathe. We took him to the emergency room and they did a lot of tests on him. They said that everything was fine and he was going through an anxiety attack. He just has gotten back from the military a couple of weeks ago and was having a hard time adjusting to civilian life. At the same time, he had to worry about his paychecks and living with me. I find it really hard to understand and I’m still learning to deal with it. It affects me because it makes me sad when he has it and it definitely throws my mornings off when the anxiety attacks are more severe.
These anxiety attacks that my husband has triggered parts of my childhood when my dad used to yell at me. I would shut down, get quiet, and step back to remove myself from the situation. Growing up, I had 3 other siblings, my dad worked in Hollywood and it was a very stressful job. He had a temper, he was loud and he would abuse alcohol. He was triggered a lot easier when he was under the influence. I watched my older brother get beaten up by him and I’ve gotten hit by him a few times. I also witnessed my mother gotten hit a few times by him. We tried to get him help but he always refused. My childhood with my father really has a big effect on my behavior today. I would lash out and say something hurtful to my husband and I think that it’s definitely because of growing up and getting yelled at. I’m still trying to understand what my husband is going through when he has his anxiety attacks.”
-Jessica (Huntington Beach, CA)