By Katie Distaso
Did you know that up to 40% of women experiencing infertility have a psychiatric diagnosis, most often depression or anxiety?
Unfortunately infertility can be a silent struggle causing stress, depression, anxiety and isolation. 1 in 8 couples will struggle to conceive. Moreover, infertility has been compared to patients with cancer, showing how intense and real the emotional turmoil can be for people and families struggling to create a family. Research shows that negative impacts of infertility can put an immense pressure on relationships and daily activities. Numerous unsuccessful attempts at trying to get pregnant will damage one’s hope and self esteem, thinking that something is wrong with them. Unfortunately, only about 44% of people struggling with infertility looked for mental health services. There is a large gap affecting both men and women when it comes to getting professional help in their family building journeys. There needs to be a way we look at mental health and infertility. Psychological support services need to be made aware of and more readily available for people who fall into this category.
How Do People Cope with These Emotional Side Effects?
There are a few suggestions on how to go through this time in your life, including; to give yourself a mental health check-up, focus on the present, practice self-care, talk to yourself, talk to others, focus on your work, and to try cognitive restructuring. Other helpful resources include identify and acknowledge your feelings and fears, give yourself the permission to cry and to be angry, do not blame yourself, understand your options and learn more about your situation, be open and honest with your partner on how you are feelings and express to them that you want to be helped, join an infertility support group and seek professional help.
What Are Some Ways to Take Care of Yourself During Such Rough Patches?
Psychological interventions for infertile patients are seen to improve patients’ mental states as well as their marital relationships. Including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which focuses on patients’ feelings and how their thinking patterns can contribute to how they feel. Relaxation techniques are associated with a decline in negative emotions. Another form of treatment is called expressive writing. This is where both partners are about to write down what they are feeling and to include aspects of their lives that they are grateful for.
It is also important to strengthen marital relationships and to reestablish intimacy with your partner. A few ways to regain a deeper connection with your partner is to do things that you did in the beginning of your relationship. For example, surprise them with a gift, a special meal or just go on a walk and hold hands. Doing these simple activities will help spark and re-flame your relationship in a positive and comforting way. Focusing on each other’s company and strengthening your emotional connection is a great way to get your mind off conception.
Family pressures can also cause you stress and unrealistic expectations. Unfortunately, your parents and your spouse’s parents do not know what you are going through and feel as if it is a crisis and an invisible loss for them. Parents of children who struggle to conceive may not know how to help or what to say. Families dealing with infertility have to find ways to make each member feel respected and heard despite differing views. Keep communication open and focus on strengthening each relationship within the family. Family and couple counseling might be a healthy and safe way to share feelings.
Consider your options. Maybe having a child that is biologically half you and half your partner is not what is best for you. Adoption, surrogacy, fostering children might also give you the satisfaction of becoming parents. You can be a parent to a child and there is no credit lost if you choose to adopt or another form to start your family. Being able to recognize that some things are just not meant to be and to be open to not only changing your plan, but your mind as well.
Helpful Resources
- MGH CENTER for Women’s Mental Health- Reproductive Psychiatry Resource & Information Center
- womensmentalhealth.org
Couples Counseling
Have you and your partner consider couples counseling? Or perhaps, individual therapy for yourself. Here at Norooz Clinic, we aim to provide mental health support to get you through your difficult time, give us a call today at 714-386-9171 to schedule an appointment with a therapist.
You can also try Peer Support Group for that focus on supporting families with infertility concerns, know that you are not alone.
References
Celia, and About celia. “Panicked and Overwhelmed: New Study Reveals the Emotional and Psychological Impact of Infertility.” Ferring Global, 21 Apr. 2022, https://www.ferring.com/panicked-and-overwhelmed-new-study-reveals-the-emotional-and-psychological-impact-of-infertility/.
CNY Fertility. “How to Deal with Infertility: 12 Powerful Coping Strategies.” CNY Fertility, 7 Oct. 2021, https://www.cnyfertility.com/coping-with-infertility/.
Covington, Sharon N., and Linda H. Burns. “When Infertility Strikes the Family: Helping the System Cope.” Shady Grove Fertility, 9 Oct. 2021, https://www.shadygrovefertility.com/article/when-infertility-strikes/.
“Fertility and Mental Health – MGH – CWMH.” MGH Center for Women’s Mental Health, 23 Aug. 2022, https://womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics-2/infertility-and-mental-health/.
Rooney, Kristin L, and Alice D Domar. “The Relationship between Stress and Infertility.” Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 20 Mar. 2018, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6016043/.
“Infertility: The Impact of Stress and Mental Health.” Psychiatry.org – Infertility: The Impact of Stress and Mental Health, 17 Apr. 2019, https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/infertility-the-impact-of-stress-and-mental-health.
