By Erica Spohr

As a parent, your main goal is to do what is best for your child. You want them to feel safe and happy about their life, and what better way to ensure happiness than by making all their experiences positive? As great as that sounds, did you know that overprotection may be doing more harm than good? 

Let’s face it; parenting can be a challenging thing to do. You want to care for your child, protect them, and allow them to explore the world for themselves. On top of an already stressful and busy life, you may experience excessive fear or worry about your child. Are they happy? Are they having a rough time in school? How are they handling stress? All these questions and much more are likely to run through your mind. With all this uncertainty, you may feel the need to be involved with your child’s life, possibly in a way that is too involved. 

What is a Helicopter Parent?

Helicopter parenting is a newer term used to describe parents who become overly involved in their child’s life. Often these parents go to great lengths to remove all obstacles their child may face to ensure that their child succeeds. Most helicopter parents have good intentions behind protecting their children; they want to do whatever they can to provide the best opportunity. A common example of helicopter parenting with children is deciding who should be their child’s friends or for teens choosing what colleges they should apply to. Although helicopter parents mean well, becoming overly involved in the child’s life creates problems with their development. 

Research shows that autonomy is essential for children to learn to deal with issues independently; without autonomy it is more difficult for the child to gain the confidence and flexibility to learn from their mistakes. Further research has also shown that children of helicopter parents are more likely to have higher levels of anxiety and depression and lower psychological well being. 

Here are some ways to avoid helicopter parenting:

• Hear out what your kids have to say: don’t be afraid to hear their input 
• When a problem occurs, don’t force help on them
• Understand your anxiety: try not to put your anxieties on your child

What does this all mean?

Rest assured that there is nothing wrong with you unconditionally loving your child and wanting what is best for them. You are doing your best to create a successful and happy environment for your kid. Some behaviors associated with helicopter parenting are even beneficial to the child’s development, such as involvement and emotional support. Those behaviors only become a problem when they are met with a constant hovering. It is alright and good for your child to experience some failure. As beneficial as it seems to ensure happiness, they won’t learn important developmental skills without difficulty. 

How We Can Help!

At Norooz Clinic, we offer a wide range of family counseling, including developing and maintaining healthy boundaries within a family. To find out more, call us today at (714) 386-9171 or info@noroozclinic.com to schedule an appointment. Our therapists speak English, Farsi, and Spanish.

References

LoBue, Vanessa. (2020, July 13). Why Helicopter Parenting Fosters Failure. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-baby-scientist/202007/why-helicopter-parenting-fosters-failure

WebMD. (2021, June 28). What to Know About Helicopter Parenting. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/what-to-know-about-helicopter-parenting